Sunday, November 24, 2013

I remember.

I remember always enjoying the fact that your best friend's name was Brooke too. I remember you were down to earth, funny and kind. I remember going over to your house, and you showed me your turkey feathers. I think it was from the first one you ever shot. You were a wonderful person, and I can't think of a single person that didn't like you.

I remember being in yearbook with you. It was a fun class, and you and Brooke, and Magenta and I, we always goofed off, but got our work done. I think the videos that you and Brooke made of you two lip-syncing in front of Magenta and I are still around, probably on facebook. I remember the senior bonfire, where we danced because Rob didn't want to. We laughed, and had fun celebrating high school together.

I remember the senior show we were in together. 30 Reasons Not to be in a Play. So funny. The entire cast was great, and you were a part of that. Going back through pictures from high school, I remember how fun, and happy you always were.

College came. You went to Husson, I went to UMO. We weren't terribly far from each other, but I didn't drive then. I remember taking a bus to Husson to see you when we were freshmen. I think it was the first and last time I was on the Husson campus. Since then, we really didn't chat much. I always figured there would be another time. I guess not.

I remember finding out you were gone. Even though I hadn't talked to you in ages, it still hit me hard. How could such a thing happen to such a good, kind, sweet person like you? I was in disbelief. That sort of thing couldn't happen to someone I knew. Every time I see your picture, it twists the knife in my heart, and I remember that I'll never get to see you at our class reunion. I'll never get to see pictures of your graduation on facebook, nor pictures of your future kids. Yours was a life cut too short.

Consequently, I want people to remember who you were, and how you were a beacon of light in every life you touched. I want people to remember to try to stay in touch with people in your life, because you never really know how much time you or they have left. And I want people to remember.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

So I was thinking...

Today I got to thinking. Damn. I'm a junior in college, and all I've ever really done with my life, and I mean EVER really done, is go to school. From the time I was probably 4 or 5 years old, I've been in some form of school. Preschool. Then elementary, middle and high school. Now I'm in college. And looking forward a year, I'm almost done. And I have no idea what I'm going to do afterwards.

It's terrifying, to say the least. How are we supposed to know what to do after 16 years of education? You can be told what it's like, but I'd be willing to bet that it's nothing like how any of us expect it to be. That's always how it seems to turn out. In the 6th grade, we were told that middle school was going to 'kick it up a notch', then that high school was even harder. That the teachers wouldn't be there to hold our hands. And yet, I found that it was quite not the case. Teachers continued to care about our education. They wanted us to do well. I can think of a few that truly wanted to teach, and to have all their students excel. My physics teacher was one of the most inspirational teachers I've had. So was my American History teacher from high school. They were both so involved in getting their students to think, but I digress. When we graduate from high school, everyone tells us that college is going to be ten times harder than high school was. But in reality, it isn't. It's just different. Some of the professors couldn't care less whether or not you do the homework, or pass the tests or even if you come to class. But some of them do. Some care greatly about their students' successes. There's more time in a college student's life. And I know that I for one can't always handle that. I get bored and restless. I sometimes even miss high school. Ha, what a notion.

College is what you want it to be. You choose your classes, you choose the amount of effort you put in to your education and you choose whether or not you see it through to the end. Then when it's over, what do you do? I don't know yet. And it's scary not knowing where I'll be going in a year. But I'm hoping that wherever I go, I'll be happy in it and hopefully it will have something to do with my major. Otherwise, it would seem that I've wasted 4 years of my life, won't it?

I guess that's all for today.Or tonight rather. Maybe tomorrow will hold more answers.