Today I got to thinking. Damn. I'm a junior in college, and all I've ever really done with my life, and I mean EVER really done, is go to school. From the time I was probably 4 or 5 years old, I've been in some form of school. Preschool. Then elementary, middle and high school. Now I'm in college. And looking forward a year, I'm almost done. And I have no idea what I'm going to do afterwards.
It's terrifying, to say the least. How are we supposed to know what to do after 16 years of education? You can be told what it's like, but I'd be willing to bet that it's nothing like how any of us expect it to be. That's always how it seems to turn out. In the 6th grade, we were told that middle school was going to 'kick it up a notch', then that high school was even harder. That the teachers wouldn't be there to hold our hands. And yet, I found that it was quite not the case. Teachers continued to care about our education. They wanted us to do well. I can think of a few that truly wanted to teach, and to have all their students excel. My physics teacher was one of the most inspirational teachers I've had. So was my American History teacher from high school. They were both so involved in getting their students to think, but I digress. When we graduate from high school, everyone tells us that college is going to be ten times harder than high school was. But in reality, it isn't. It's just different. Some of the professors couldn't care less whether or not you do the homework, or pass the tests or even if you come to class. But some of them do. Some care greatly about their students' successes. There's more time in a college student's life. And I know that I for one can't always handle that. I get bored and restless. I sometimes even miss high school. Ha, what a notion.
College is what you want it to be. You choose your classes, you choose the amount of effort you put in to your education and you choose whether or not you see it through to the end. Then when it's over, what do you do? I don't know yet. And it's scary not knowing where I'll be going in a year. But I'm hoping that wherever I go, I'll be happy in it and hopefully it will have something to do with my major. Otherwise, it would seem that I've wasted 4 years of my life, won't it?
I guess that's all for today.Or tonight rather. Maybe tomorrow will hold more answers.
-A
I know that you'll have someone beside you, no matter where you end up. :)
ReplyDeleteHey abbs, its ks. Thing is, even if your degree is a waste or the money you throw at getting it is lost (ahem.. yeah, my French major ring any bells), what are you measuring success in. Instead of focusing on cows or diplomas, why not look back on the last few years and count new friends made, strange things you've tried, great experiences, and things you've learned about yourself. People are made up of both their successes and their failures, but only you can decide which of those categories the parts of your life fall into.
ReplyDeleteSee you on fb lovely!
I guess that's true. It's just insane. And for all the friends I've made, I've lost many 'friends'. Some might say that that was just weeding out the sorta friends from the real friends, but it's just rough when days go by and there's no one to really talk to about things that actually matter. The number of people like that, I could count on one hand most likely.
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